I'm Maddii, this is me

I apologize for the length but I just can’t take being like this anymore. Things need to change I can’t keep waking up and looking in the mirror and seeing that. Today it changes. I’m tired of sitting around and looking at all the thin girls and pretty girls and toned, sexy bodies and saying, “Damn, I wish I had that.” and then proceed to do nothing about it. Not anymore. You have to work for these things and these things I intend fully to have. I need to get active, start doing things… or I’m scared I’m going to explode. I’ve told this whole speech to myself many… many times. This time I swear it will be different. And its not just my personal image. I need to step up as a whole human being because quite frankly… I’m pretty much worthless. Even though school is pretty much over, I’m done slacking off with everything. I need to do better. Be. Better. I’m sick of living in my messy, disorganized shit-hole of a room. No more. I’m going to change. I will get tired, all this change isn’t going to be easy, but I’m going to welcome it with a smile.